i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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