Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
