worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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