She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
