that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
