Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
