the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize