PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize