apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
