i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
