i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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