TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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