Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize