check it out our google latitudes are spooning
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
