did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
