Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Boobs are out for the taking
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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