Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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