there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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