I bet he comes in French.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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