No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
