Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize