Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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