You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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