I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
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I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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