honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
