apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
