Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
