I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize