I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Randomize
