you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
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