i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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