I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
no you cant smoke seaweed
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
