I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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