all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
You dont lie about slip and slides
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Randomize
