never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
