and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
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Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
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I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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