What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
