Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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