she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I'm passing your future prison.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize
