absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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