The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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