her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Randomize
