I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize
