I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
