oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
