and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
