You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
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