i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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