I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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