I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
We have started to decorate penises.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
