forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
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Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
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Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
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