you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
