Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
